


drabble dump 002

by highboys (orphan_account)



Series: drabble dumps [2]
Category: Persona 3 Portable
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-08
Updated: 2011-01-08
Packaged: 2017-10-14 13:36:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/149739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/highboys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Junpei's life is hard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	drabble dump 002

**( Junpei/FeMC, Yukari/FeMC/Mitsuru. In which FeMC propositions Junpei. )**

  


 **what Junpei said**

Junpei stares at her, making an effort not to look at anywhere lower than her forehead. "Um," he starts, then tries again. " _Um_."

Behind them, Kenji snickers and hits Kazushi's arm with his bookbag. "See, I _told_ you they were totally going out!"

"It's not like that!" Yukari yells from the other end of the room, and Junpei would make a crack about Yukari's lesbian tendencies if he weren't so distracted by the weight of Minako's hand on his arm. Does it count as sexual harassment if it's your best friend? Does it even count if the aggressor is female?

" _Ihavetogopee_ ," Junpei squeaks, and trips over his seat. Kenji laughs harder as Minako opts to sit on Junpei's back to prevent him from escaping. It isn't everyday someone propositions Junpei, after all.

"I do not comprehend," Aigis intones, stepping neatly over Junpei's crumpled body on the floor. "I am sure I am a more qualified candidate than Junpei-san. I am quite skilled with my hands."

"This is the best day ever," Kenji says. "This is like my best fantasy coming to life."

"... Kenji, I really hope that's a pencil that's poking my side," Kazushi says, disgusted.

"Hey Junpei," Minako says cheerily, oblivious to Junpei's attempts to crawl away from her, "do I have to buy you dinner before I ask again?"

"I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND," Junpei wails. Yukari coughs and makes a pointed effort not to point out the present tense. Minako ignores both of them, and kicks at Junpei's hip.

"We can get a special," Minako says. "Heck, we can get _five_ specials."

"... Okay, you have got to stop hanging out with that businessman because he is clearly _not_ a good influence," Yukari says, having mercy on Junpei and pulling Minako away. "Come on, we can find Mitsuru-senpai instead."

  
 **( Shinjiro/FeMC/Ken. In which Yukari attempts to play the 'dad'. )**

  


Shinjiro figured rejoining SEES would entail a shitload of work he really didn't want to think about. Kicking ass in Tartarus? Yeah. Getting chased by Death? Sure. Getting stared down in the lounge by an overprotective second year girl who was 18 pounds lighter than he was? Not really in his to-do list.

"What are your intentions towards my daughter?" Yukari demanded, voice booming. Next to her, Junpei scratched his head and scrunched up his face.

"Dude," Junpei said, "why am I playing the chick?"

"Stay in character," Yukari said through gritted teeth. On her other side, Minako crossed her arms over her chest and grinned cheekily at Junpei.

"Yeah, listen to dad, _mom_ ," Minako said, then promptly erupted into a laughing fit.

Beside Shinjiro, Ken shifted in his seat. "Um. I have homework," Ken said, meekly.

"So your homework is more important than my daughter's chastity?" Yukari's voice went up a few decibels. Never a good sign.

"Yukari--" Minako said, then shut her mouth, which was all well and good because Shinjiro could already tell what she was probably going to say. _He's just a kid. It's Ken-kun, I thought he was your favorite_. Or _I'm not really that chaste anymore_. There were so many things to say but it felt like anything would sound a) stupid and b) suicidal. Yukari looked like she was capable of lunging at Ken and Shinjiro at the same time and suffocating both of them with a bow string to protect Minako's "innocence". So much for playing favorites.

"Seriously," Junpei wondered aloud, "why am I the mom?"

Ken shrinked in his seat and Shinjiro pulled his beanie over his forehead. Great. He didn't really sign up for this shit, did he?

This was probably going to take a while.

  
 **( Akihiko/FeMC. In which Junpei and Yukari attempt to give Akihiko the 'talk'. )**

  


Akihiko _knew_ every time Yukari talked to him, she was up to no good.

"--and that's how you put on a condom," Yukari finished, putting down the cucumber in her hand. "Any questions?"

"What the hell, Junpei?" Oh god, no. He was not having this conversation with his clearly delusional underclassmen. No. Just. No way.

Junpei made motions with his hands that probably involved a sledge hammer and a stop sign (which couldn't be right). His face was a lot more telling, given that he wore his SHE'S ABSOLUTELY CRAZY, I SWEAR expression. "It was her idea!" He wails miserably. "She made me buy the condoms!"

Meanwhile, his girlfriend was smirking in the background, apparently finding the whole scenario hilarious. _Help me_ , he mouthed, but Minako ignored him.

"I think that part's done, Yukari," Minako said, "now why don't you let him try it with a banana?"

Akihiko slumped in his seat. There was no justice in this world.


End file.
